Green Acres Is The Place For Me

My recent sidebar has made me want to list the things that I love about Oregon. Don´t roll your eyes because I love my home. You spend most of your time at home, so you better think it´s the best place on Earth.

1.) Best water in the world. And FREE! Everyone knows I absolutely hate it when Oregonians buy water. Why are you buying water? Do you not taste that the water you are paying for was bottled up the road? Literally, most of it says that it was bottled in Oregon. Let the New Yorkers and Floridians pay for our water. Here, I can´t even brush my teeth without bottled water, or else I will get cholera. I had a momentary panic attack in the shower the other day because I forgot to not let the water get into my mouth, which is a tough habit to break after 25 years. You really need to focus.

2.) Clean air. Remember when I compared Lima to East L.A. earlier? Well, today there are no cars on the streets (well then where is the honking coming from?!), because Sundays are No Drive Days. They have to literally stop people from driving their cars so that the air has a chance to disperse the pollutants. Even New York has Central Park's trees to help out, these people have got nothing.

3.) Non-Smokers. Okay, now I´m just listing things I hate about cities in general. But really. I hate having to vear around slash hold my breathe when I walk by smokers. And I still don't understand why one filthy habit excuses another. Because you pollute my air you feel you may as well liter my streets? Cut it out.

4.) Smiles, smiles for everyone! I get it now, really I do. People in this sort of environment have stopped smiling at strangers because it´s dangerous. It makes you vulnerable. The other day when my mom and I were trying to find a place to eat, my mom stopped to ask a man for his recommendation of a good local Peruvian restaurant. He wanted to keep walking and ignore us, but was able to quickly make a suggestion and offer directions while not making eye contact and continuing on his way. Then, a woman started trying to ask us "oh, you are looking for good Peruvian food?" and my mom did the same thing as the guy. Didn't make eye contact, kept on walking, as the woman offered her friendly advice. The reason for this behavior is because theives work in teams, and one will try to distract you while the other steals your wallet. And theives are in abundance here. So everyone is on guard, all the time. Which means no smiles for me. Just creepy whistles.

5.) Different standards for truth. Ummm, people lie here, but they don´t know they´re lying. "Excuse me, how long until the internet is fixed?" "Oh, it's not broken." For the record, it was. "Excuse me, how do we get Pardo Pollo?" "Oh, you can't get there from here. Go two blocks that way, 3 blocks that way, and then ask the guys on that corner." Why can't you just give me the whole direction? I know you know where it is.

6.) English. Obviously I'm not surprised that they speak Spanish here. I just didn't think it would affect me this way, I thought it would be delicate immersion. I have had a chronic headache since arriving, possibly due in part to the pollution, but I think a lot of it has to do with the constant stimulus of noise. Cars honking, people yelling, and all the gibberish. Even my mom has to ask waiters and customer service people to slow down so she can understand them, and she grew up here, she´s a native. The thing is, a lot of people come from the provinces, so their spanish is a mashup of Quechua, the indigenous language. To me it´s all white noise. Loud white noise. Peruvians are anything but soft spoken. My brain is working on overdrive to decode, and I am exhaus--BEEEEEP BEEEEP BEEEEP. Sorry, sometimes I snap. City life is not for me. Keep Manhattan just give me the countryside.


Disclaimer: So far, do not take this blog as any sort of indication at all of what Peru is like. I have spent the majority of the past 5 days holed up on a hostel room, with the exception of going out to eat delicious food. But this is not the Peruvian experience, or the Peruvian life. This is like going to visit the U.S., and taking your sample from a stay in a shady hotel room in Detroit. My Brother will arrive in a couple hours, and tomorrow we will head to the mountains of Huaraz and really start this adventure.